A name, a name, what's in a name?

A rose by any other would smell as sweet. But would you still smell it if it was called "Stinking Rag-wort"? (Hah, bet you were thinking I was off on another stupid literary short-cut to a quick blog post. Hah!)

So I'm trying to pick a domain name that meets the following criteria

1) Isn't owned by someone else, somewhere in the world.
2) Is preferably just a .com ... not .com.au
3) Relates vaguely to database guru-ism, as it will eventually peddle my consulting services as a cynical inveterate tinkerer, who masquerades as a DBA.
4) Doesn't make me cringe when I read it. "Someguywhocouldnotfindabetterdomainname.com" doesn't really do it for me.
5) Doesn't have some kind of unfortunate alternative reading, like "dataguy" ... date a guy. I can do without the spam :-)

I've come up with a few lame ones, that godaddy tells me are available, but I'm still not happy. Time will tell if I can think up something that satisfies the above. Comments welcome (and hell, I haven't even thought about comments on this blog before, so there's always a first time).